from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize