I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Randomize
