and next time when you feel me up, do it right
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Randomize
