It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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