Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
