I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Never underestimate the power of titties
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
