i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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