you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I can't turn off my feet"
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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