She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
