Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Green mimosas i think yes
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
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