If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
no, he came in my armpit
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
