Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
