piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
