i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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