Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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