whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
