Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Randomize
