Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
