don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
