The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Randomize
