you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
accomplished twins. life is a go
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Randomize
