is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
