So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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