My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
