please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
