Duck Duck Cougar?
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
