so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
