No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Randomize
