So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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