Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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