you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
