I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
