Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
