new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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