It's like God shit irony all over that family
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
