I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Randomize
