I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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