If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
