Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
