i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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