Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
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