i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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