I heard we made out
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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