As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
if i can run in heels then i can drive
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
