He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
