My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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