Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
