I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
