hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
