He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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